Monday, November 28, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Nick and I are still living at our short stay apartment. It is becoming more of a mid range stay then a short stay at this point. We've been here a week already! We are hoping to be back in our place by the end of the week but who knows???? I am really starting to miss our little apartment. I find it really frustrating how long this whole process has taken. Do I have unreasonable expectations? I just think our landlord should have paid the bill as we have been paying him to do so and that the electric company should have shorter service time, especially in the winter months when they know we can't live in the apartment without utilities. We are currently paying into a new contract but are waiting for the company to come to our place to turn it on. No one can give me a firm date either. Arrrrghhh! That's right, arrrrghhh!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
On Thursday night we were invited to the inaugural lecture of Professor Luc Van Loon, Nick's advisor. As is part of custom here in the Netherlands the Professor is then responsible for hosting a reception after the lecture and throwing their own celebration party. The party was a real formal event in a beautiful venue with an open bar, food, dj and dancing. Like a wedding reception. I find it very strange that it is a requirement to throw and pay for your own party but it's the Dutch way. They throw their own birthday parties too! I met lots of the spouses and partners of Nick's lab mates as well as his colleagues from the department. I met a girl named Laura from Toronto Canada and her boyfriend Richard. She has been here for 6-years studying and is heading back in the summer. She is planning to start school at the Naturopathic College. She has cats too so we exchanged stories. We plan to get together for a cat date soon :) We have a lot in common.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
This photo is of my friend Pam and I at a Fitness conference in 2009. She is one of the most charismatic people I know! Strangely enough charisma's origin is in Greek and she is Greek :)
Through personal social research some of the key characteristics of charismatic people that I have identified are;
1) They smile a lot. The charismatic people that I have met smile a lot. Not in a creepy and excessive way but more in a positive and enthusiastic way. Emotions are contagious so a smile can go a long way. I definitely think that charismatic people have an authenticity in their smile but starting to smile more is an easy behaviour change to make. I have been pleasantly surprised by the response I have received to my smiling.
2) They are interested, open and curious. The most charismatic people are genuinely interested in others. In conversation they tend to ask more questions then they answer. They are great listeners who make others feel comfortable sharing without fear of judgement. There is a curiosity about them and a desire to learn and know more and they view every interaction as an opportunity to do just this.
3) They are fully present. Being present creates an intense focus and a feeling of being centered that is palpable. People are not accustomed to interacting with people who are totally present and it makes them feel special. They are more likely to share and open up. Have you ever really observed Oprah in an interview. In a room full of people, on national tv with a million potential distractions she is fully present. It's as if no one else and nothing else exists when she is interviewing.
4) They are confident. There is a quiet confidence about charismatic people. This confidence is very different then arrogance. Their confidence is on a deeper and more fundamental level and has come with experience from facing fears. They succeed and are confident because they have failed over and over.
5) They are assertive. Often times we think if we are "nice" and go out of our way for people they will like and appreciate us. They may in fact like you but the better question is will they respect and be drawn to you? People who are assertive with clear boundaries and expectations of how people should treat and interact with them are much more successful in relationships then the "nice guy/ girl".
6) They are amused. I know this sounds kind of funny but they don't seem to take things too seriously. They are relaxed and having fun and there is a lightness about them. They recognize what is important and what is not. What they have control over and what they don't. They have a good sense of humour about life.
7) They are socially free and authentic. When you are overly concerned about what other people may think then you often act in reaction to what you think they might say or do. When you are in this frame of thought you can not not be your most genuine and authentic self.
In conclusion, I think charisma can be defined as being along a continuum. I think the potential to be charismatic is within all of us. In my opinion charisma is a product of environment and being exposed to situations that allow it to further develop. Some of us may require a more focused and diligent effort at developing our own charisma but it is definitely possible. I think there are things we can work on every day. Today, in my yoga class I will work on being present :)