Monday, October 31, 2011

So what are you afraid of?


I thought that given today is Hallowe'en day that there is no better topic for my blog then that of fear. So what scares you? What are you afraid of? Is it spiders, the dark, being alone, snakes, birds - love you Cate! What makes the hair on your neck stand up and your stomach move into your throat?
I hate that feeling that wells up inside of you, the loss of control, the cold sweat, the thing that keeps you up at night. Are you ready? Today in my blog I'm going to get deep. I'm going to put it out there. I'm going to be honest. One of my greatest fears is FAILURE. At many different points in my life I have been consumed by my fear of failure and my fear of being perceived as a failure. Now don't get me wrong, my fear has never prevented me from doing things. If anything it has done the complete opposite. It is the thing that will not let me rest. It drives me forward from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next, to the next.....you get the idea. I'm constantly looking for the success that will set me free. Set me free from my fear of failure and inadequacy. Have you ever felt this way? With our workaholic society and everyone rushing around I think there must be lots of people out there who are like this but haven't taken the time to think about it. I've discussed this with friends and I know I'm not alone but that this fear manifests in different ways. I have a friend who admits to self-sabotage. He is a brilliant guy with creative ideas and a unique way of looking at the world. His fear of failure causes him to put up walls, to procrastinate, to avoid experiencing real failure by creating the failure himself. I'm sure we've all been afraid of failing on some level at some point and have self-sabotaged or run away or run ourselves into the ground. Please tell me you can relate!
One of my dear friends, Tracie Lee, shared one of her favorite quotes with me "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure". This was a really thought provoking quote for me because it made me take a step back and think of my fear in a different way. Is it that I'm afraid to fail or that I don't think I deserve to succeed??? Wow....thought provoking isn't it. She also told me to "grab 30 by the balls and show it who's boss". She is such a wealth of thought provoking quotes :)
Well, this year I'm turning over a new leaf. I deserve success! Success on my own terms. I will define it and I will achieve it and I will not need the praise of others to recognize that I have. I'm not afraid to fail because you can't fail until you stop trying and I'm never giving up! I'm grateful for the small successes every day and the opportunity to pursue new ones tomorrow.

This is your life. It's short.
Do something every day that scares you, don't live your life scared!

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